The Fog (2005) Review

In 1980 John Carpenter made arguably his second best film (After Halloween) when he directed a classic ghost story: The Fog. Fast forward 25 years and Stigmata director Rupert Wainwright was handed the job of remaking this classic horror film. Carpenter would be on board to produce. Starring or simply acting in The Fog are Tom Welling, Maggie Grace, Selmar Blair and Adrian Hough.

The first thing I notice about the remake is the Fall Out Boy song that comes on when we see the first shots... Its on for about 20 seconds... Why? Did you think that would help you appeal to rock fans? (I correct myself Fall out Boy is not rock). Then after a brief Fall Out Boy moment a messed up weird version of Carpenter's original music started to play and it didn't work, it sounded like a bad remix.

The next thing I notice is that all the main characters are so young. No... just no, you need older characters like Father Malone and Stevie Wayne were in the original.

The story of this film is nothing like the original, yes ok there is some fog. Thats it. The original had the gripping but creepy tale of dead sailors coming back from the dead on the 100th anniversary of their death's to take revenge and take back their gold that the townspeople of Antonio Bay had stolen. The remake has the Sailors coming back to find the captains long lost love. Really?

Jaime Lee Curtis plays Elizabeth Williams so much better then Maggie Grace. Especially when Maggie delivers the line "Your not a freak or anything are you?" Its terrible. Curtis made it sound genuine. Maggie Grace however looks like she is struggling to get the words out and has to say it s-l-o-w.

John Carpenter has a nack for making his films creepy, Carpenter's Fog is very creepy. Very very creepy, whereas this version doesn't have that creepiness or horror feeling.

One massive problem I had with the look of the film was the Fog itself. It looked CGI, It wasn't real and you can tell. Another problem I have is the location of Stevie Wayne's Lighthouse. In the original it is next to the sea at the bottom of those iconic steps, in this film however, its next to the road, its all a bit lazy to be honest. In one scene Father Malone is sat in the graveyard and there is some graffiti behind him on one of the tombs... Did the sailors do this? Is that really what your trying to say? Dead sailors vandalise graveyard. It would make a weird newspaper headline.

The sailors can pull people through the air and make shards of glass fly around in circles? oh dear.

The ending really annoys me too (If you haven't seen it 2 things 1. Don't & 2. I will reveal the ending here) The leader of the sailors kisses Elizabeth who then turns into a ghost herself? WHAT? Has she been dead all along? Did the kiss kill her? It makes no sense at all!

It almost feels like a completely different film from John Carpenter's classic. It's actually so different, the production company would of probably got away with making a different film, not linking it to The Fog at all.

My DVD player actually ejected the disc halfway through. Thats how bad this film is, my DVD player doesn't want to play it. To put it politely this film is terrible and best avoided at all costs. Thats how the sailors should look like they did in the original.

The Fog 0.5/5 (Thats less then one!)